Whether you are moving to a new hostel or planning to share a living space and save some extra bucks out from your first job, there is one person you have to learn to live with – your roommate. Love it or hate it, she will probably be that one person with whom you are going to spend your maximum time. If your stars are extraordinarily favourable, you may get a good one. But believe me, the probability of happening the same is minimal. Be it every day clashing routines, a different understanding of what’s clean, or uninvited guests at unwanted times; there can be a lot to deal with.
Having a good roommate can be like a family away from home. However, things might take a different turn if she is the opposite and nothing less than a ‘Spawn of Satan’ for you. Here are my recommendations on how to deal with a difficult roommate.
1. CURB YOUR URGE TO RETALIATE
When things get bad (or are getting bad), even her smallest of the act can annoy you to the core and the urge within to reciprocate can be very high. But, don’t take the route of revenge and instead, try talking to her about her actions. First things first, respond and discuss. Don’t overreact.
2. ADDRESS THE ISSUES ASAP
If any of her actions are bothering you, then you must be willing to address the problem right away. Don’t be the kind of a person who let most of the things go unchallenged even when they are bothering you to the core. Clearly state your expectations and don’t let your resentment turn into aggression.
3. DON’T JUST TEXT; TALK TO HER FACE TO FACE
It’s for the best that you both communicate and address the issues face-to-face and not via text. Texting may create more misunderstandings, and conveying your true feelings may become more difficult. Let her know the things that are making you uncomfortable.
4. DON’T HESITATE IN REPEATING
Even after pondering over the issues, if there are no signs of genuine efforts from her side, don’t hesitate in reminding her again. Stay polite and be consistent in asking what you want.
5. ADJUST THE TONE OF YOUR DISCUSSION
Even after repeated reminders, if she appears unwilling to improve things, adjust your tone. You can start in a polite and requesting manner, but if issues aren’t getting solved, using a bit of a firm tone is justified.
6. KNOW YOUR UPPER LIMIT
Some souls never change. Even when you tell them their mistake, they won’t pay heed to it. Now being a good roommate is very crucial, but knowing where exactly you need to bounce back is also essential. If your roommate is unwilling to alter the situation, and she continues to make you feel like a refugee in your space, then it’s high time. Get out and look for other options because having a difficult roommate can not only make you more frustrated but can also lead to mental agony.
Things may not change overnight. Just stay calm, discuss things, and give your roommate some time to understand and settle the issues. Most importantly, treat her just like the way you want yourself to be treated.